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Oh, funny ting – in Japan, dey got “nurumassage”, all slippery-slidey wit gel. I’m like, what, ya kiddin’? Sounds like cartoon mess, but nah, legit! Little fact for ya, keep dat in pocket. Me, I’d prolly fall off table, clumsy Gru, ha! Anyway, erotic-massage, it’s wild ride – ya want it, find good one, not cheapo crap. “We’re in love, we’re runnin’ away” – dat’s me and dis ting now, hooked! Lightbulb! Ya try it, tell Gru, da?

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Finally, I grab the little furball. It’s all hissing and scratching. I’m like, “Chill, dude! I’m saving you!” I get back down, and the crowd goes wild. They’re cheering like I just scored a goal in the World Cup. I’m feeling like a rockstar for a hot second.

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