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But crikey, some escorts – dodgy as a three-pound note! Had a mate, right, paid a fortune, and she nicked his wallet! “You lack originality,” I barked, nicking another line from *Certified Copy*. Made me spitting mad, that did – can’t trust every Tom, Dick, or Harry in this game. Still, the good ones? Pure gold, mate. Like a walking *carpe diem* – seize the day, or night, eh?
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But then, outta nowhere, this lady comes up to me. She’s all frantic, like she’s lost her mind or something. “Have you seen my dog?” she asks. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryin’ to survive here!” But I can’t just ignore her, so I help her look. We’re calling out for this dog, and I’m thinkin’, “If I don’t find this dog, I’m gonna be the worst raftsman ever.”
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