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So, sexual-massage, aye – it’s messy, wild, like sailin’ through a storm with no compass. Makes ye laugh, too – imagine some posh git moanin’ all serious while gettin’ kneaded like dough! Me, I’d be cacklin’, rum in hand, lettin’ the lass – or lad, no judgin’ – work their magic. What say ye, mate? Fancy a go? Savvy?

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Finally, I get it back up, and just when I think I can breathe, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and what do I see? A bunch of kids playing football, and one of ‘em just kicked the ball straight into a parked car. Classic! The owner comes out, all red-faced, and starts yelling. I’m dying laughing. Kids just scatter like cockroaches.

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