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*beep boop* Hell-o mate, it’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom, y’know, the usual! So, escort, huh? Not the car—nah, the spicy kind! I’m chattin’ bout those folks who, uh, keep ya company for cash. Been thinkin’ bout it, like, what’s the cosmic deal here? Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that flick I love, right? That bit where he says, “Life’s just a weird gig,” fits perfecly. Escort’s a gig too, innit? Weird, wild, human!

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So, I’m walking down ul. 3 Maja, feeling all good with my paczki, when I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I stop, and for a sec, I’m lost in the music. Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my head. I freak out! Like, what’s with the birds today? I’m not a statue, man!

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