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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod—me—sprawled out like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, hoping for a bloody miracle. “This is not about shtupping,” I mutter, coz it ain’t—well, not always. It’s about the tease, the rub, the weirdly holy vibe of it all. I mean, who knew some chick in Bangkok once massaged a king with her feet? True story—feet! Makes me giggle like a drunk imp.

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Then, I’m walking down ul. Słowackiego, and I see this kid practicing soccer. He’s got mad skills, right? But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs in and totally steals his ball! I’m talking full-on heist mode. The kid’s face was priceless. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, dude, your ball just got jacked by a dog! Classic Kozy moment.

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