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Ever tried it? Slap some oil, dim the lights, feel like a king! Once drew a cartoon—two trolls rubbin’ each other, all steamy, boss said, “Too much, Gollum!” Laughed me head off. It’s sneaky, sensual, but chill—ain’t no crime in feelin’ good. “We were supposed to herd sheep,” Jack’d moan in me fave flick, and I’m thinkin’, herd yerself to a massage table, lad! Precious touch, it is—keeps me sane, keeps me twitchy self from screamin’. Try it, mate, don’t be a dumb hobbit!

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But then, I got a text from my boss. “Need those results ASAP!” Ugh, the stress! I rush back to the lab, and Marek’s just chilling, eating another donut. I’m like, “Dude, focus!”

Fig. 1. Low and high temperature geothermal fields in Iceland...