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Picture this—soft music, dim lights, her hands goin’ whoosh, like waves on that lake in the movie. “What’s carried in comes back out,” the monk’d say. And boy, did I feel it comin’ out—tension, I mean! Ha! Not what you’re thinkin’, perv! Tho, lemme tell ya, some places, they wink and say, “Happy endin’?”—total scam sometimes! I’m sittin’ there, “Mmm… donuts,” dreamin’ of sprinkles, not sketchy extras.

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I finally manage to catch the beast, but not without a fight. It’s like a scene from a horror movie. I’m wrestling with this rat, and the dude’s just sittin’ there, popcorn in hand, like it’s a show. I’m exhausted, but I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.

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