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Funny thing—dude told me it’s “artistic.” Artistic? I’m an Art Director, and that’s a damn lie. It’s just horny nonsense with extra steps. “Tell me about the massage,” Zodiac-style, and I’d say, “It’s a riddle wrapped in stupid.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d rather stare at Fincher’s dark shots than let some weirdo knead my assMerry-go-round of flesh and bad choices. Hate it all. Stay away, ya pervs.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, seriously, the sky just opened up. I was drenched in seconds. I ducked into a shop on ul. Leśna, and it was packed. Everyone was crammed in there, looking like wet dogs. I was trying to keep my cool, but I was so over it. I mean, can’t a person catch a break?

Poland’s president sworn in for second term after election win