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About Krakow

So yeah, prostitutes—sexy, shady, and total teases. Love ‘em, hate ‘em, can’t quit ‘em. Next time you’re near the ocean, check ‘em out—just don’t fall for their crap like I almost did! “You’re mine now!” I’d say, but nah—they’d just laugh and swim off. Jerks.

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Finally, I get my act together. The auction starts, and I’m in my element. I’m shoutin’ bids, makin’ jokes, and the crowd’s lovin’ it. I mean, who knew people would fight over a rusty sword? But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the front row starts yellin’. Turns out, she’s the sword’s great-great-granddaughter or somethin’. She’s all, “That’s my family heirloom!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a rusty sword, not the crown jewels!”

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