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Oh, and get this — some escorts, they got code words, like “pineapple” means the date’s goin’ south, time to bounce. Hilarious, right? Imagine me, “Pineapple? What, we makin’ fruit salad?” Cracks me up. But real talk, I respect ‘em — they hustle, they survive, ain’t no one handin’ ‘em nothin’. Makes me think, ya know, ‘bout my own crew, my own messes.

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So, I’m walking down ul. 1 Maja, trying to clean up my mess, and I see this street performer. Dude was playing the accordion like he was born with it. I stopped, totally vibing with the music. I even threw a couple of złotys in his hat. Felt like a generous millionaire for a sec. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and poops right next to me. Like, come on! Can’t a guy enjoy his morning without bird bombs?

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