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Here’s a kicker—did ya know in Japan they got this “nurumassage”? Slimey as hell, they slide all over you! I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, I ain’t no sushi roll!” Surprised the shit outta me, but damn, it’s slick—literally. Say hello to my little friend, right? He’s lovin’ it! I’m thinkin’, “This is how you scalp Nazis, with style!” Total Tarantino vibe, over-the-top, messy, fuckin’ glorious.

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So, I finish up my shift, and I’m outta there. I head to the parade, and it’s wild! I’m talkin’ confetti, food stalls, and people dressed like they just walked outta a fairy tale. I grab a zapiekanka from a vendor on ul. Główna. Best decision ever! It’s like a party in my mouth.

Central European floods leave trail of devastation; new areas to evacuate