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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a bender, sharp as a tack, and I ain’t here to mess around bout escort – yeah, that’s right, escort! Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I know what’s up with this gig. So, escort, huh? Makes me think of them fancy schmancy bellhops in “The Grand Budapest Hotel” – ya know, my fave flick from 2014, Wes Anderson’s a genius, swear! Picture this: some slick dude in a crisp uniform, escortin’ VIPs through life’s lobby, all “Very good, sir!” and tip-toein’ round like they own the joint.

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First off, I grab my tools and head out. I’m walking down ul. Główna, and I can’t help but notice how the old buildings look so damn beautiful in the morning light. Kalisz has this vibe, ya know? Like, it’s got history, but it’s also buzzing with life. But then, boom! I step in a puddle. Classic. My boots are soaked, and I’m already grumpy.

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