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Oh, and the trials? Messy as hell. One chick said it made her see colors talk—fuckin trippy, right? I’d try it just fer that. “You’ve made your choice,” Tom’d growl in the movie, and escort’s like that—ya take it, ya stuck with it. Me, I’d pop it and watch the world twist, laughin like a lunatic. Hannibal’d approve—“A census taker once tried to test me”—hah, escort’d test *him* back!

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I get to my first job on ul. Częstochowska. This lady, bless her heart, wants a new window in her kitchen. She’s all excited, talking about how she wants it to be “the centerpiece” of her home. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a window.” But whatever, I’m here to do my thing.

A day in the training life of 4 Team USA Olympic swimmers competing in Paris