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Fun fact: they named it “escort” ‘cause it legit escorts proteins around. Duh, right? But I’m cacklin’—imagine it with a little hat, like, “This way, sir!” Total Eric Andre energy—chaotic but gettin’ shit done. Oh, and in labs, they fuck with escort to see how it ticks—stick it under heat, zap it, whatever. Sadistic bastards, but I respect the hustle.

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But then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy, Tomek. We hadn’t seen each other in ages. He’s still the same, cracking jokes and all. We ended up at the park by ul. Parkowa. It was nice, just chilling and catching up. He told me about his new job at the factory. Said it’s boring as hell, but the pay’s decent. I laughed, told him he should write a book about it. “Factory Life: The Snooze Chronicles.”

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