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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy, mate—folks judgin’ while they’re secretly oglin’. Happy bit? When it’s honest—two souls, no bullshit, just a deal. “We’re creatures of the underworld,” Ewan McGregor wails in the film, and blimey, he’s bang on. It’s a shadow dance—sad, sexy, ridiculous. Once knew a lad who swore his “regular” baked him biscuits—true story! Said she was “his Satine,” only with less singin’ and more fag ash. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss—it’s gold.

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Any person found guilty of any of the offenses covered by this article shall be punished by arresto menor or a fine not exceeding pesos, and in case of recidivism, by arresto mayor in its .

But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, seriously? I’m drenched again! We run for cover under a tree, and I’m just laughing at the absurdity of it all. “Only in Kabaty,” I say.

Where is The Woods on Netflix filmed and how you can visit the filming locations?