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About Myself
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Had one meself once – proper lush, but pricey, £100! Made me happy as a black hole feastin’ on light. But then, this dodgy parlour – ugh, stank of cheap lotion, bloke didn’t even wash his hands. Pissed me off, yeah? Felt like a supernova of rage. Shoulda known – if it’s £20, it’s sus. Little fact: legit ones use hot stones sometimes, heats yer muscles, feels like floatin’ in space. Bet ya didn’t know that, eh?
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But then, I see my ex. Ugh. Talk about a mood killer. She’s with some dude, and they look all lovey-dovey. I’m just standing there, trying to act cool, but inside I’m like, “Why am I even here?” I grab my apples and bounce.
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