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So, brothels—oldest gig in the book, right? Been around forever, like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called lupanars—wolf dens, how’s that for classy? Little known fact: they found graffiti in Pompeii, dudes braggin’ bout their “visits”—like Yelp reviews, but hornier! I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed too—imagine the smell, no AC, just sweat and regret. Makes me wanna yell, “WALL-E, clean this crap up!”—he’d roll in, beepin’, “E-vahhh,” all confused by the glitter and heels.

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Services: Masturbate, Cumshot on body (COB), Blowjob without Condom Swallow for extra charge, Swingersclub, Classic vaginal sex, Cum in mouth, Cunnilingus.

Finally, I duck into a café on ul. Kościuszki. I’m dripping wet, looking like a drowned rat, but I don’t care. I order a hot chocolate, and it’s the best decision ever. I sit there, watching the rain, and I think about how wild today has been.

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