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Oi mate, blimey, here we go—erotic-massage, eh? What a bloomin’ corker of a topic! Picture this, right, me sprawled out, knackered from all that Prime Minister malarkey, and some genius says, “Boris, old chap, fancy a rub-down?” Cor, I’d be happier than a pig in muck! Now, I reckon erotic-massage is a bit like *Inside Llewyn Davis*—you know, that flick I’m mad about? All moody and soulful, but with a twist of saucy charm. “Ain’t no money in it,” Llewyn’d grumble, but crikey, this ain’t about cash—it’s pure *voluptas*, pleasure, innit?

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Then, I decide to hit up the local pub, you know, just to unwind. I order a beer, and the bartender, this guy with a beard, is like, “You look like you’ve had a day.” I’m like, “You have no idea, man.” We start chatting, and he tells me about this ghost story related to the castle. I’m all ears, and it’s wild! Apparently, there’s a ghost that roams the halls at night. I’m like, “Great, now I’m never sleeping again!”

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