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Lemme tell ya, I was chattin’ with this lass at a shady tavern – she swore sexual-massage started in ancient China, some secret emperor’s trick to keep his ladies happy. True or not, I was gobsmacked! Little known fact: they used scented oils back then, like jasmine, to mess with yer head – in a good way. Makes me happy thinkin’ how clever those old buggers were. But what pisses me off? These posh spas chargin’ a fortune for it now – “That’s a bingo!” as Hans Landa’d say, but it’s a rip-off! Should be for everyone, not just rich twats.

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Back to the lecture, finally. I’m trying to pick up where I left off, but the students are all buzzing about the fire alarm. I mean, come on! Focus, people! But then, one brave soul raises their hand and says, “Prof, that was the most exciting part of class!” I can’t even be mad. I laugh, and the whole room cracks up.

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