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Oh, and—funny story—my pal Dave tried it. Total rookie, slipped oil everywhere—floor’s a rink! Laughed my ass off, he’s red-faced, but chill—mess-ups happen! Sexual-massage ain’t perfect, it’s raw. That’s the juice! “What’s next?”—movie line hits me—cuz every sesh is new, unpredictable.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna hit up this new bar on ul. Wyszyńskiego. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I make my way there, and the place is packed. I mean, who knew Ilza had such a nightlife? I order a drink, and the bartender gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a beer.”

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