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Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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Finally, I get my drink and head out. I stroll down ul. Kościuszki, feeling all fancy with my coffee. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my day! I’m standing there, cursing the universe, and this old lady walks by and says, “It’s good luck!” Good luck? More like bad luck, lady!

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