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Now, lemme get real—I tried it once, swear! Some gal named Trish, hands like a dang angel. Felt like happy lil trees sproutin’ all over my spine. Made me happy as a pig in mud! But—here’s the kicker—she started talkin’ bout her ex mid-massage. “He was a jerk,” she says, diggin’ into my shoulder like it’s his face. I’m like, Trish, chill! Don’t turn my zen into a crime scene! Got me mad, but I laughed it off—ain’t worth ruinin’ the vibe.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Tomek bursts in. He’s all hyped up about this new café on ul. Wrzosowa. Says they have the best pastries. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t even think about pastries right now!” But he’s persistent. So, I’m thinking, “Fine, let’s take a break.”

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