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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m Bane, texture artist extraordinaire, and sexual-massage? Oh, it’s a trip! Been messin’ with textures all my life—gritty, smooth, all that jazz—and this? This is like slappin’ oil on a canvas, but alive! Watched “Almost Famous” last night—again— Crowe’s a genius, yeah? That line, “I am a golden god!”—that’s me after a good rubdown, swear it! Sexual-massage ain’t just hands on skin—it’s tension, release, the whole damn vibe.

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But then, I get back to work, and my sewing machine decides to throw a tantrum. It jams up, and I’m there, pulling my hair out. “C’mon, you piece of junk!” I’m yelling at it like it can hear me. Finally, I fix it, but not before I’ve lost an hour of work.

Figure 1. Location of the Eemian Interglacial deposits in Poland and...