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WALL-E’s got that cute robot lass, EVE. “Eee-vah!” he’d chirp, all lovesick. Escorts prolly fake that vibe—ooh, you’re so special, darlin’. Makes me wanna gag. I’d rather shove a spear through me eye than play sweet for coin. Personal quirk? I’d poison the ale first—watch ‘em choke, smirkin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my bloody story.

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First off, I’m at the office on ul. Wysoka, and the phones start ringing off the hook. Like, seriously, I thought I was in a horror movie. “Hello, Gora Telecom, how can I help you?” I’m sayin’ this for the hundredth time. People are losing their minds over their internet. “My Netflix is down!” “I can’t call my grandma!” Like, dude, chill. It’s just the internet, not the end of the world.

Figure 8. Map of Dmanisis Gora showing A) extensive outer enclosure...