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So, check it—I got this homie, swear he got a sexual-massage in Thailand once. Said it was next-level, like, they use these hot stones, bruh! Little-known fact: them stones ain’t just for show—amps up the blood flow, gets you *loose*. He was like, “Drake, I’m reborn, no cap!” Made me happy as hell hearin’ that—dude was glowin’. But then, yo, some spots be shady—overcharge you for a rubdown that’s basic as fuck. Pissed me off, fam! Like, don’t play me—gimme the real deal or bounce.

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Back in the shop, I’m ready for the next round. This dude walks in, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s got a beard that could house a family of squirrels. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He’s all, “Just a trim.” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you need more than a trim.” But hey, I’m not here to judge. I get to work, and he starts tellin’ me about his conspiracy theories. I’m like, “Bro, I just cut hair, not your life story.” But he’s on a roll, and I’m stuck listenin’.

Is there a Nazi 'gold train' in Poland? We're about to find out