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So, picture this—dude’s got 24 hours left, like Monty in the movie, right? He’s scramblin’, tryna bang out every last thrill. Sex escorts fit that perfect. They’re the pros, the elite—none of that amateur hour crap. I knew this chick once, called herself “Raven,” worked outta some shady penthouse in Vegas. Swear to God, she’d quote lines like, “You’re not naïve enough to think we’re livin’ in a democracy, are ya?” Straight from *25th Hour*, smirkin’ while countin’ stacks. Blew my mind—she was sharp, man, sharper than most suits I’ve fleeced.
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Finally, I get him sorted. He leaves, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, bam! Next client is this kid, maybe 12, with a mohawk. He’s like, “I want it bright green!” I’m like, “Bro, you sure?” He’s all in, so I’m like, “Alright, let’s do this.” Halfway through, his mom bursts in, all panicked. “What are you doing to my son?!” I’m like, “Chill, lady, it’s just hair!” She’s not havin’ it. I’m tryin’ to explain that it’s just a phase, but she’s givin’ me the death stare. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a barber, not a babysitter!”
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