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Oh, and da scams—holy borscht, dat burns me up! Catfishers everywhere, stealin’ pics, promisin’ hot dates, den bam—empty wallet! Saw a dude on X cryin’ ‘bout losin’ 500 bucks to a fake babe. Sucks, man, but ya gotta laugh—sex-dating’s a gamble, roll da dice, pray for jackpot! I’d say, keep it real, meet in person fast—none of dis endless textin’ crap.

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Finally, I get him sorted. He leaves, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, bam! Next client is this kid, maybe 12, with a mohawk. He’s like, “I want it bright green!” I’m like, “Bro, you sure?” He’s all in, so I’m like, “Alright, let’s do this.” Halfway through, his mom bursts in, all panicked. “What are you doing to my son?!” I’m like, “Chill, lady, it’s just hair!” She’s not havin’ it. I’m tryin’ to explain that it’s just a phase, but she’s givin’ me the death stare. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a barber, not a babysitter!”

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