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So, it’s all ‘bout touchin’ and rubbin’, but fancy-like, not some cheap crap. Ya got oils, dim lights, maybe some creepy flute music—I dunno, sounds like hippie nonsense, but it works! I read—yeah, I read, shut up—that it goes back to ancient China or some crap. They called it “tantric” or whatever, supposd to make ya live longer. Bullshit? Maybe, but I’m happy as hell imagining it! Like, “Fish are friends, not food,” but replace fish with hot masseuses—ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of apples. Apples everywhere! It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m laughing, but the vendor? Not so much. He’s ready to throw hands. I mean, come on, it’s just fruit!

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