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Alright, listen up, ya horny heathens! I’m a clergyman, sure, but don’t think I’m blind to this sex-dating mess. Lemme tell ya bout it, Judge Judy style—sharp and loud, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!” Sex-dating’s wild, like that freaky alien chick in *Under the Skin*. Ya know, Scarlett Johansson luring dudes to their doom? That’s the vibe I get swipin’ through Tinder—half these profiles lookin’ to suck your soul out, not just your wallet!

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After that, I stroll down ul. Katedralna. It’s a beautiful street, but man, the cobblestones are killer on my poor feet. I’m like, “Why do I even wear these shoes?” But then I see this little café, and I’m like, “Coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn. Seriously, it’s just coffee, dude!

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