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Like, literally, oh my god, sexual-massage is my jam! I’m totes obsessed, you guys. It’s, like, this crazy mix of chill vibes and, um, spicy energy. I saw this thing once—probs on Insta—where this masseuse in Bali was, like, using these ancient oils from the 1600s or whatevs. True story, I swear! Made me so happy, I was, like, “This is my vibe!” Imagine me, Kim K, sprawled out, all glam, getting that deep-tissue love. “A Separation” vibes hit hard here—‘cause, like, “The past is the past,” right? But this massage? It’s now, it’s me, it’s everything!

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I finally make it to the bank, soaked to the bone. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to catch my breath, when I see this old dude, probably in his 80s, just chillin’ on a bench. He’s got this massive grin on his face, like he’s just seen the best show ever. I’m like, “Dude, you see that storm?” And he’s like, “Ain’t nothin’ but nature’s way of sayin’ hello!”

Romantic scene carved into a metal canteen 100 years ago reveals the 'deep longing' of a Russian POW