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Fun fact: they named it “escort” ‘cause it legit escorts proteins around. Duh, right? But I’m cacklin’—imagine it with a little hat, like, “This way, sir!” Total Eric Andre energy—chaotic but gettin’ shit done. Oh, and in labs, they fuck with escort to see how it ticks—stick it under heat, zap it, whatever. Sadistic bastards, but I respect the hustle.
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I settle for some weird mushroom ones. Not my jam, but I’m starving. I sit down at this little table, and this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. He knocks my plate over, and I’m just like, “Really?!”
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