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So, I tried it, dude—sex-dating, not alien stuff. Tinder, Grindr, whatever—scrollin’ through pics, bios like “DTF, no strings!” I’m like, “Whoa, these folks ain’t messin’ around!” Makes me happy, y’know? Cuts the BS—straight to the point. No dinner, no “what’s your sign?” crap. Just, “Hey, you hot, let’s bang!”—love that energy. But then, some profiles? Total catfish city! Pics from 10 years ago, filters thicker than my nonna’s lasagna. Pissed me off, man! I’m thinkin’, “What is this form you have taken?”—straight outta the movie, that eerie line. You meet up, and it’s like, “Whoa, false advertising, bro!”

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? In the middle of my signing? Everyone’s panicking, and I’m just standing there, trying to sign “evacuate” while also making sure the kids don’t run into traffic on ul. Słowackiego. I mean, come on! I’m not a traffic cop!

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