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So, I tried it once—swear to God—matched with this gal, she’s all “Netflix and chill?” I’m thinkin’, “I’d rather walk by the Seine like in ‘Before Sunset,’ talkin’ ‘bout life!” But nah, we’re in her apartment, she’s half-naked, and I’m like, “This is too fast!” Made me angry, y’know? Where’s the buildup? The tension? “Time is a lie,” Jesse says in the movie, but sex-dating? It’s all rush, no depth! I stormed out—dramatic as hell—shoutin’, “This ain’t for me!”

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First off, I’m a Russian Sign Language translator, right? So, I’m used to the hustle. But today? Pffft. I was running around like a headless chicken. I had a meeting at the local community center on ul. Słowiańska. You know, the one with the weird mural of a fish? Yeah, that one. I thought I’d be early, but of course, I got stuck behind some old dude driving 20 km/h. Like, c’mon, man! We’re not in a retirement home!

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