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So, I knew this dude once – swear it’s true – he said escortin’ was his side hustle. Dropped a fact on me: back in the ‘20s, escorts were legit called “taxi dancers.” Ain’t that wild? Dudes paid ‘em to dance, no funny biz, just twirlin’. Made me laugh, ‘cause I pictured ‘em in sparkly dresses, dodgin’ creepy hands like, “Nah, pal, step off!” Got me happy thinkin’ they had some sass.

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But then, just when I think it’s all good, I hear this crash. I turn around, and some dude knocked over a whole shelf of snacks. I’m like, “Dude, what are you doing?” He just shrugs and walks away. I can’t even.

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