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About Poznan

Oh, and the oils—sandalwood’s my jam. Smells like power, like I’m plottin’ world domination mid-rub. But once, yeah, got this rookie masseuse—slipped oil everywhere, floor like a damn ice rink. Nearly cracked my evil skull! Pissed me off, but laughed too—clumsy git. “Directive?”—stay upright, ya muppet!

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Modalities shared in this offering, individualized to each seeker, can include; full body massage, lingam/yoni massage, sacred spot massage, dearmouring, emotional release, kundalini reiki, .

So, I’m strolling, coffee in hand, feeling all artsy-fartsy. I pass by the old town square, and there’s this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I’m vibing, right? Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my croissant. Like, excuse me, Mr. Pigeon, I’m not sharing! I swatted at it, and it just looked at me like, “Really, bro?”

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