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But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.

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While I’m waiting, I notice the view from her window. It’s kinda nice, actually. You can see the mountains in the distance. I’m like, “Hey, at least you got a view, right?” She just glares at me. Not the best time for jokes, I guess.

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