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Back in the ‘80s, this lil shitbox was king—Ford pumped ‘em out like crazy. Cheap, reliable, but oh man, pissed me off sometimes! I saw one once, rusted to crap, dude still drivin’ it like, “Screw you, world!” Reminds me of Doc sayin’, “Under the paving stones, the beach!”—like, underneath the junk, there’s somethin’ cool, ya feel me? I was happy as a pig in shit when I learned they raced these suckers. Rally cars, tearin’ up dirt—little known fact, bitches! Escort Cosworth, that turbo beast, could smoke half the fancy cars today. Respect my authoritah, I know my shit!

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So, I roll up to the main square, Rynek, and it’s packed. Like, people everywhere. I’m just trying to do my job, you know? Climbing trees, checking for pests, all that jazz. But then, bam! I see this massive oak on ul. Kłodzka. It’s like the king of trees, all majestic and stuff. But it’s got this huge crack in it. I’m like, “No way, not on my watch!”

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