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About Szczecin

My favorite flick, *Ida*—you know, that Polish nun movie—got me thinkin’. There’s this line, “What if you’re not pure?” Hits hard when you’re talkin’ sexual-massage. All these clowns actin’ holy while grindin’ on strangers. Hypocrites. Makes my blood boil. Another gem from *Ida*: “You’re a slut.” Ha! Imagine sayin’ that to the masseuse mid-rub. Bet they’d cry into their lavender oil.

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Finally, I get the crowd hyped. I’m all like, “Ladies and gents, welcome to the Brzozów Auction Extravaganza!” I’m pumped, but then I see my buddy, Janek, in the back. He’s got this ridiculous hat on. I mean, it’s like a cross between a cowboy hat and a sombrero. I can’t help but laugh. I’m like, “Janek, what’s with the hat? You auctioning off cattle or what?” The crowd cracks up, and I’m feelin’ good.

Severe hailstorm devastates municipality in southeastern Poland