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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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Anyway, I decide to take a walk. I hit up the local bakery on Słowiańska. Best pastries ever! I grab a pączek, and it’s like a hug in my mouth. Sweet, fluffy, and just what I needed. But then, I spill powdered sugar all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking dessert.