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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—prostitute, right? Not the flower, nah, that’s too pretty, too delicate for this rant. I’m talkin’ the street hustle, the oldest gig in the book! Y’know, I saw “Only Lovers Left Alive,”—best damn movie, Jim Jarmusch, 2013—and it’s got me twisted up thinkin’ about this. Like, Adam, that brooding vamp, he’d probably say, “What a drag, these humans sellin’ themselves!” And I’d agree, pretty, pretty good take, right? But lemme tell ya, it’s a mess out there!

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I chat with Officer Kowalski, a real no-nonsense guy. He’s like, “Yeah, we’ve had a few reports of stolen cars lately.” I’m thinking, “Great, just my luck.” He gives me a few tips, and I’m outta there, feeling a bit more hopeful.

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