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So, I’m sippin’ wine, thinkin’—gods, this is lush. Been around brothels, seen it all, but sexual-massage? Next level. Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they’d slather oil on gladiators, rub ‘em down proper—happy endings included. True story! Gets me all giddy, thinkin’ how we’re still at it, centuries later. But here’s what pisses me off—folk judgin’ it. “Oh, it’s dirty!” Sod off, ya prudes. I’d pay a dragon’s hoard for a good one, and I’d grin wider than a dwarf in a whorehouse.

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Then, I decide to stroll down ul. Biskupa Jordana. It’s a pretty street, but today it was packed. I swear, I’ve never seen so many people in one place. It’s like everyone decided to come out and ruin my peaceful day. I’m trying to enjoy the view of the archaeological site, but nope! Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like they’re in a freaking photo shoot. Chill, people! It’s just some old ruins!

This is how the pavilion of the Archaeological Museum in Biskupin will look like