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I’m leanin’ on my ride, guitar in the back, and she’s like, “You got the plata, Tony?” Plata, hah! Made me laugh—straight outta Scarface, this one. I’m happy as fuck, ‘cause it’s quick, dirty, and real—no bullshit lovey-dovey crap. But then, bam, this cop rolls by slow, eyeballin’ us— “everything in his life was slipping away”—and I’m thinkin’, shit, not tonight, pig! Sapphire bolts, I peel out, heart poundin’ like a damn drum solo.

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Finding sex in Wroclaw is very easy because there are many brothels, erotic massage parlours, strip clubs and independent escorts working all over the city.

First off, I hit up ul. Wrzeciono for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me orders a triple-shot, extra foam, unicorn latte or whatever. Like, bro, chill. It’s just coffee, not a magic potion. I’m already annoyed, but whatever. I grab my regular black coffee and bounce.

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