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So – get this. I’m strollin’. See this chick – WHOA. Fishnets ripped. Heels clickin’. She’s givin’ me the eye. I’m like – damn. Heart’s poundin’. Not love – nah. Just – excitement. “A strange heat rises,” movie line. Totally that! She’s smirkin’. I’m sweatin’. Asks me – “You lost, honey?” I laugh. LOUD. Almost choke. “Nah – just huntin’,” I say. She gets it. We’re talkin’. Cash comes up – quick. Fifty bucks? Sixty? I dunno. Hagglin’s weird. Makes me mad – why so pricey? But – she’s got bills. Respect that.

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And then, the craziest thing happens. A guy walks in, wearing a full-on chicken suit. I’m not even joking! He starts doing this ridiculous dance in the middle of the shop. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, like, “What is my life?” But honestly, it lightens the mood.

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