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I dig it, ok? Slow moves, deep pressure—happy as hell when it hits right. But sloppy amateurs? Pisses me off—wasted time, no skill. Learned this trick once—Thailand, 2010, chick used elbows, cracked my spine good. “You’re all I have left,” I muttered, half-joking, half-high on endorphins. Little known fact: Japan’s got “nurugel,” slippery as fuck, seaweed slime shit—surprised me, weirdly hot.

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After that, I’m like, “Let’s go to the castle.” You know, the one on the hill? It’s super cool, but climbing up there is a workout. I’m huffing and puffing, thinking about how I should’ve hit the gym more. But the view from the top? Totally worth it. You can see the whole city! I snap a pic for the ‘Gram, and I’m feeling like a tourist in my own town.

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