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I was pokin’ around, thinkin’—what’s the deal here? Massage with a wink-wink? Turns out, it’s been around forever—ancient Rome had these “rub-downs” where senators got freaky with olive oil. True story! Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve got this “soapy massage” thing—girls lather ya up, slide all over, and boom, ya feel like a million bucks—or “One million dollars!”—pinky up! I’m sittin’ there, cacklin’, ‘cause it’s genius—slippery, sexy, and straight-up bonkers.

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Then, the day takes a turn. I get a call about a local event being canceled. Like, seriously? It was supposed to be the highlight of the month! I’m fuming. I mean, who cancels a community event last minute? I could feel my blood boiling. I wanted to scream, but instead, I just texted my team, “We need a backup plan, ASAP!”

People cannot believe before-and-after photos revealing 'sad' town square transformation: 'That's absolutely criminal'