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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). So, yo, sexual-massage, right? Wild stuff, man! Me, a carpenter alien, hammerin’ wood all day—bam bam bam—then this? Total vibe shift. Watched “In the Mood for Love” last night, that slow-burn tension, damn, it’s like a sexual-massage without touchin’. “I can’t see you every night,” she whispers in the flick—same vibe, tease and release, ya know?

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Then, boom! The race starts, and Wally takes off like a rocket! I’m yelling, “Go, Wally, go!” People are cheering, and I’m feeling like a superstar. But then, outta nowhere, Wally decides he’s had enough and veers off to munch on some grass. I’m like, “Noooo!” The crowd bursts into laughter, and I’m just standing there, mortified.

Parachutist lands on football pitch during a match in Poland - and gets a yellow card from the ref!