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Mate, the surprise? Some prossies got stories – one told me she nicked a punter’s watch once, flogged it for a grand! Proper chuffed, I was – love a bit of chaos. Reminds me of that film line, “It’s not my fault” – she’s blamin’ the geezer for bein’ a twat! Fair play, I say.

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First off, I hit up my fav café, the one on ul. 1 Maja. You know, the one with the best coffee in town? I ordered my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. But guess what? They were outta milk! Like, how do you run outta milk? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But I just laughed it off. I mean, it’s Andrychów, right? Gotta keep it light.

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