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Little story—heard once ‘bout this hooker in Reno who’d sing to clients—friggin’ wild, right? Made me laugh, picturin’ her belting showtunes. Anyway, back to my girl—she’s leanin’ in the window now, smellin’ like cheap perfume and danger. I’m hooked. “You ever seen *Almost Famous*?” I ask—why’d I say that?! She’s like, “No, is it porn?” I die inside—hilarious, but ouch!

Whangarei CBD brothel limit

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But wait, there’s more! I decide to hit up the Whangarei Quarry Gardens. It’s a bit of a trek, but I’m feelin’ adventurous. I get there, and it’s beautiful. Flowers everywhere, and the sound of water tricklin’. I’m takin’ it all in, feelin’ zen. But then, outta nowhere, a bee decides I’m its new best friend. I’m flailin’ my arms, lookin’ like a total idiot. “Get away from me, you little buzzkill!”

Five teens arrested after two Whangārei service station break ins