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My favorite kinda prostitute? The clever ones. Not the strung-out junkies, nah, the ones who got a plan. Like, there was this dame in St. Petersburg, ran her own gig, had blackmail on half the city. Built a fuckin’ empire off her back—literally. Surprised me, honestly, how she flipped the script. “You’re not built to last,” Monty’d say—but she was. Fuckin’ legend.

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Grab my flat white, and boom! I’m ready to tackle the day. But then, I hear this ruckus outside. Turns out, some kids are racing their bikes down the street. I mean, c’mon, it’s not a racetrack! They’re zoomin’ past the Tokoroa Library like it’s the Indy 500. I’m like, “Hey! Watch out for the sheep!” But they just laugh and keep goin’. Kids these days, right?

Council splashes out $17m on indoor pool upgrades