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About Dunedin

I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of Bay Drive. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the barista, bless her soul, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you mess up a flat white? I was like, “Yo, this is a latte!” She just laughed. I was annoyed but couldn’t stay mad. Her smile was contagious.

New wetland and improved pipe system to reduce flooding in Porirua